FAMILY TIES AND THE BONDS THAT SHAPE US

More Than a Wedding — A Reunion of Roots

When sixty voices filled a hall and reminded us what family truly means.

By Jaya Ray, Financial Advisor & Citizen Journalist , Civic Media, CR Park Speaks

I recently realised the value of a large, extended family, when my nephew got married and my entire family of 60 plus people turned up for the mega event. Although few members were still missing(that would take the count to about 75!), the strength was enough to fill the wedding venue to more than half! The biggest takeaway for me and my cousins were when our children bonded like they were never away from each other. Such has become the bond, that soon after the wedding, when the children were back to their own cities, my son formed a whatsapp group to stay in touch.

We often say, that this generation likes to stay within themselves and are not social enough. But given an opportunity, they also bond, and how!

I also saw, how the children have imbibed values such as touching the feet of elders, helping seniors with movement, getting food for them, driving them around, basically taking care of them, like they should.

It was been a topic of discussion whether a nuclear family is better or a joint/extended family is better. In today’s times, what with homes becoming more compact, families have become smaller. To enable parents and grandparents to have their own space and privacy, families have intelligently spaced out the living spaces. Some may be living in the same building, in different floors, some may be walking distance from each other, or at the most, in the same colony or city. However, inspite of the distance, if we are able to instil the right values in our children, they do grow up to be compassionate, responsible and caring individuals.

I have always believed and seen, that no child comes with preconceived opinions or behaviour from the womb. It is entirely on the parents to mould a child in the right manner. A child is like fresh, soft clay, who can be moulded as the parents wish. Then, involving the children in family functions, gatherings and outings play a large role in creating a sense of belonging and ownership in them. Elders also love to have children around when there are collective gatherings. Hence their blessings also go a long way in bringing the best out of the children.

India has always been in the forefront globally, when it comes to creating family systems, upholding relationships, especially marriages. Inspite of the rising cases of divorces and separations, India still is way ahead of the world when it comes to managing family ties. Children coming from extended families, have also been seen to have successful marriages. Such situations teach a child to have more patience and compassion when they interact with elders, obedience towards parents, albeit not blindly, appreciating the life experiences that they learn from them and last but not the least, sibling bonding and a sense of sharing, especially when there are single child families.

When my son happily talks about how he is bonding with his cousins and planning our next vacation together, I am happy that somewhere, we as a family have been able to bring up our children, the right way.

Eternally grateful to the Almighty for such a family.

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